Bethlett .

46. Although there are many hours still left in today, we are in our final hours of 2014. I imagine for a lot of people during these hours will be making numerous 'New Year resolutions' that no one sticks too and many thoughts reflecting back on what we have and haven't done this last year.  For me 2014 started with the best memory I will cherish forever, my wedding day :D on the 10th January I married my best friend, the most amazingly wonderful man who I love so so much. It was a very cold day, Rob was very poorly but it was the greatest day of my life. My Dad walked me down the isle and that is something that is so very special to me.  <3 In July I started this blog, which I love. It helps me and I hope it can help others. With this blog I don't have to pretend who I am or how I am feeling, which is something I do daily. Through this blog I have connected with some wonderful people, family members from Canada and Devon who I never even knew about. Co

45. Hello my loves :D I feel like I'm slacking with this whole blogging thing, I promise to try and get the swing of it again soon :)  Like my last post I'm listening to McBusted, I still love them and Rob still HASN'T got me any tickets to go and see them...this makes me very sad! I am determined to change his mind though don't you worry my loves. (I'm secretly hoping that he will buy me them for our 1 year wedding anniversary hehe) So lovelies, that's it! The festive season is over and we are about to begin a new year together and start all over again. That's what I like about the new year it's like a refresh, we get to start the year differently. We can look back on the things we disliked from the previous year and some how try to not do what we didn't like again. But also I think mentally when the new year arrives we can picture how we would like that year to go, achieve things we couldn't, set goals for ourselves. I think my goal will

44. My dear dear loves, its FOUR days till Christmas, I think this may be my last blog before Christmas, I'm undecided if it will be my last blog of December though, I think I'll write one more after this then that's me done for 2014!! I am currently listening to McBusted, I bloody love this band!! I loved Busted back in the day then instantly fell in love with Mcfly when they rocked up so this combination is just awesome!! Rob won't take me to see them though and that makes me so so sad. Everyone go tell him he needs to take me to their tour please.  Anyway, fancy an update on my life? Yes you say? Well okay then... I never updated you guys about my dizziness, after seeing the Neurologist and realising that although my brain is pretty simple it's actually perfectly fine and is not  causing the dizziness. He did say that the theory on it being caused by strong lighting is a possibility but he couldn't say because he's not an eye specialist. After lea

43. Hello my loves, I've missed calling you all that. I feel like I haven't wrote to YOU in a little while, even though I have. Christmas isn't far away now, are you all ready for it? Isn't it crazy the madness and stress we put ourselves through for one day and that one day goes by so quickly it becomes a blur in our minds.  I'm listening to Labrinth - Jealous right now. I love this song, it's a great one to belt out if you're feeling a little bit jealous about something. Although I think the song is based on some sort of relationship. But anyway. this song got me a thinking my loves.  It's said that jealousy is a very ugly thing to have or be but us as humans can not help feeling jealousy over things from time to time. Whether it be a relationship that has ended or over inanimate objects that don't matter, we can not help having that feeling of jealousy sometimes. We can however help and control how we cope with those feelings.  I personall

42. When your screams go unheard, When your tears go unseen, When you take deep breaths,   When your body goes tense, When your hands constantly shake, When you become lost in your feelings, And when you just want to run, Be Strong When your heart takes over your mind, When you feel hurt,  When you feel betrayed, When you hide your smile, When you look at the floor, And when you want to be noticed, Be Strong When you believe in something, When you follow your heart, When you can see things others can't, When you need to cry your eyes out, When you hold someone tightly, When you laugh, And when you're happy, Be Strong When you ask for help, When you're happy, When you're sad, When you're wrong, And when you're right, Be Strong And when you feel completely alone Be Strong You learn as you get older and/or go through testing times how strong you are, how strong you have become. Never doubt tha

41. Hello my loves, I haven't been very well all this weekend and I'm still unwell now, I've spent most of the day in bed with zero energy and feeling crappy but I wanted to write to you all because I haven't in a while.  How are all of you feeling? Many of you been struck down with the winter cold like I have? How are your Christmas plans going? My nephew turns one tomorrow and my niece turns eight on the 19th, where does the time go??!! For Ellie she's going into exciting times because I think from the age of eight that's when you have more solid memories of things, you begin to understand life a bit more and everything is amazingly interesting at that age. It's quite beautiful really isn't it? This weekend my Auntie and Uncles came up from down south and Germany to see my Dad. It was the first time since my wedding in January they have all been together and it was really nice to see them all. I only saw them very briefly but it was nice. They ar

40. I wrote blog post on the 2nd August about our story so far with my Dad's MND, four months later now I feel maybe it's time for a more in depth update on how things are now. Again, I stress, what I write are the thoughts purely from my own brain and my point of view.  Since August Motor Neurone Disease (MND) has been globally recognised with the Ice Bucket Challenge. The reason behind throwing a bucket of ice water over yourself was to experience the numbness MND/ALS warriors feel everyday and it has raised such an unbelievable amount of money, more than I think anyone expected. Lets hope it continues to be recognised and understood. In these last four months things have changed, he is no longer the version of himself that he was back in August. For a while it felt that things had kinda stayed the same. It seemed that his Dementia was getting increasingly worse and his MND was taking a step back. He would spend each day walking around the town, for no real

39 . Dear November We've struggled this month, we haven't been the best combo. During your month November I've been in quite a bad place, I've spent a lot of your days in tears. It's not your fault, I think sometimes when a person tries so hard to keep it together they need some time to let all those horrible emotions out. I put a lot of pressure on myself in November, I let the thoughts and opinions of others change those of my own which I believed in, and I shouldn't have allowed that. In some moments I felt backed into a corner by guilt. But I shouldn't feel guilt over situations that can't be changed. I had moments of feeling not listened  too, a feeling that keeps nesting in my brain. I've either wanted to scream at people or go and hide from everyone, both of which have negative consequences. Reflecting back on the weeks throughout you November I can see now how much my negative thoughts overwhelmed me, BOY they overwhelmed me