Bethlett .

99 . It's been a year. 365 days. I'm not sure that's something I will ever be able to digest mentally. The sheer speed at which it has past. The realisation there's been no contact. No existence anymore.  Not being able to see you in all that time has been possibly the only thing I've coped with because I can see you in my mind. In my dreams. What I've found difficult to comprehend is I haven't been able to speak to you, hear your voice or even send a text message. I still have you in my phone, your name is still in my contacts but the truth is that number will be someone else's now. I can't call. I've found those the hardest moments because I will always remember your face but your voice has become increasingly more difficult to remember. It's painful.  I've thought about you everyday and recently you have been in my dreams. They are so bittersweet...I have to wake up. I wake up with the fact that you're no longer in my

98. To you I'm yet to meet.  One day I'll lock eyes with you and my love will be unconditional. You will lay in my arms and I will help you grow. Your personality will be a little of mine and a little of his but mostly your own.  I can't say who you will look like most and I won't be able to say for certain what hair colour you will have but you will be beautiful because you'll be the person you are meant to be.  If you ever read this I want you to know that I never want you to feel like you have to justify who you are. I don't want you to feel stress or pressure for you will be. I don't want you to sit me down to tell me your sexuality, just let me meet whoever they are no matter the gender. I don't care if you want to wear makeup or dress in clothing that's for a particular sex. All I want for you is to be happy, because I will support you through everything.  I will never let you feel like you can't do something, I'll